The Obvious
Retreat
Don't Boil (Version Two)
Clay Hats
South Bank
Look To The State
New Featureless List
Voice In A Bin
Scribbler
Afters

THE BLOW TO HIS TESTICLES CAME AS A SURPRISE. ALMOST AS SURPRISING AS THE PAINFUL WHITE LIGHT THAT SEERED THROUGH HIS BRAIN PRODUCING A KALIDASCOPE OF COLOURS TO DANCE FLASHING IN FRONT OF HIS EYES. AS HE FELL FORWARD HE SENSED THE CHANGE OF AIR PRESSURE AND KNEW WHAT WAS TO FOLLOW.
 
The first I had heard of Naevus was on the split release with Knifeladder on the Terra-Fria label [read here]. The three tracks contributed there I considered as a nice mix of Blood Axis / Death in June style of music and was very acceptable to these ever demanding ears. That was then. This is now. With a full release to contend with my opinion has changed dramatically. Oh how the mighty ‘may have been’ has fallen in such a short period of time.
 
HIS NOSE EXPLODED. THE DAM THAT HAD HELD HIS PRECIOUS BLOOD FROM FLOWING BROKE IN A THOUSAND PIECES AND TEARS FORMED IN HIS EYES. HIS DORMANT SURVIVAL INSTINCTS TOOK OVER AND HE CURLED UP INTO A BALL TRYING TO PROCTECT HIS FRAIL BODY FROM FURTHER PAIN.
 
The first thing that grates is the vocal range of main provocateur Lloyd James. Over three songs fine. Over a whole fucking album…different ballgame baby. A pissed up pub singer would sound more pleasing and have a better style of delivery. Worse than that is his voice…which is one only a dog could love. A totally non descript monotonous sound that makes the Geordie accent actually appealing. Then we come to the music itself. Lloyd is a man with a split personality. Or possibly a split / split / split personality. How can you account for a recording that starts with a noise usually associated with the Power Noise genre before moving into a monologue, that a pre-pubescent sixth form student would be ashamed of, over said stated din. Then suddenly…we rock! Queens of the Stone Age beware. Lloyd is after your crown. What a spunk bubble. And so it continually changes pace. From watered down folk style musings onto more ‘rawk’ and back again. Please make it stop. I can’t take a ny more.
 
THEY TRIED TO PENETRATE HIS DEFENSES. AIMING AT HIS HEAD, KIDNEYS, LEGS AND BACK THE FEET KEPT FLYING IN SEEKING OUT THEIR TARGETS. HE LAY STILL. AFRAID TO MOVE. HIS WARM BLOOD TASTED OF COPPER AND SPREAD AROUND HIS PRONE BODY IN A PATTERN OF ABJECT MISERY.
 
The final nail in the coffin of this recording is with the lyrics. If you thought that Pam Ayers and Half Man Half Biscuit were naff writers consider yourself proved wrong. Welcome to Lloyd’s world where he writes poetically such gems as: "Cubism lingers in the walls. While testicles bang in jeans" and "Oblivious to bowel or intestine. You only see the mouth" or better still "One State. One church". Yeah…and one vision. Eat your heart out Queen. I haven’t laughed so much since my mother got diagnosed with cancer.
 
THE UNPROVOKED ATTACK ENDED AS QUICKLY AS IT HAD STARTED. WHY HAD HE BEEN PICKED OUT FOR SUCH TREATMENT HE WOULD NEVER KNOW. ALL THAT CONCERNED HIM NOW WAS TO GET HOME AND LICK HIS WOUNDS. ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE THAT FAILED TO LIVE UP TO HIS EXPECTATIONS.
 
What galls is that in "Perfection is a Process" there are some great ideas which just haven’t been realised or matured enough to take it to a higher level. Who it will appeal to I don’t know or for that matter giving a flying fuck about. Try it if you must but don’t say you haven’t been given enough warning. Naevus fully deserves this kicking…just as our anonymous victim above has had to suffer.

ANM