Threshold
The Chinaman's Pipe
Each Day Of My Life
Across The Styx
Vermin Surround Me
I'm Bleeding
A Drone Amongst Men
Hardtack
Video Your Lover's Innards
Shonin
Sleeping With The Lights On

The psychiatrist sat on his plush leather chair. £4,500 it cost. Money well spent. He looked at his latest patient laying on his equally expensive couch and sighed an inward sigh. He hated new patients. All that bother of writing up case histories. Further hassles doing background checks. He sometimes wondered if it was worth it. Then he thought of the hourly rate he charged these mugs. Made plumbers and electricians seem like security guards by comparison. He smiled to himself. Best get this over and done with. He looked at his clock and hit the timer button on the front. Time is money bastard and the clocks ticking.

‘So Mr Soundscape Gardener’ he started. ‘Just call me Sound’ interrupted his patient. ‘Yes…well so Sound’…this ones a bit of a cheeky cunt he pondered…‘You’re here because everyone thinks you have what we in the trade call Multiple Personality Disorder…or MPD for short. Do you?’ ‘Not as far as I know’ Sound responded. But you would say that wouldn’t you thought the psychiatrist. ‘Well I’ve been studying your past history…or more specifically…your past recordings and to date it definitely appears as though you’re acting as totally different persons at any one time…care to enlighten me on that?’ Sound cleared his throat and looked up at the psychiatrist. ‘I’m a fucking artist. I don’t believe in staying within one accepted musical genre. I change. I divert. I metamorphosis all the fucking time. It’s what I do. I’m the fucking genuine fucking article of a conceptual artist.’ ‘No need to rant. Calm down’ the psychiatrist soothed. Boy was he going to be hard work. I’ll maybe buy a new Bentley out of my fees with this fucker he mused to himself. ‘Ever wanted to fuck your mother?’ the psychiatrist asked. ‘What!! No!!’ spluttered Sound. ‘Just asking…you never know…so anyway how do you explain this “Regale me with tales of my own demise” recording seeing as how it varies so much from previous recordings?’ the psychiatrist queried. ‘But it doesn’t. Sure I’ve added in a bit more drone work. Stuck in my usual black ambience pieces. Thrown in the odd experimental style passages. More of the same really. All done to the highest of standards folk expect from me. I’ve also thrown in some samples. Fiddled about with the electronics and all that. I think I’ve made another corker of a recording actually. So your question is negated by the music in question’ thundered Sound. ‘Hit a raw nerve have we?’ smirked the psychiatrist. ‘For fuck sake man will you fucking listen to what I’m saying. The eleven tracks on my latest release showcase my style. Those who’ve heard my past stuff will go bananas over it. I just get progressively better with each release. I’m learning all the time and putting that experiences into each piece of music. I’d go as far as to say that if anyone hasn’t heard my music before then this would be the ideal place to start. I love my music and I love my fans’ Sound screamed. ‘That’s all well and good but I still think you need treatment’ the psychiatrist grinned. ‘Or should that be ‘all of you’ need treatment’ he laughed.

He hit the button once more. Times up. He’d had enough of this bullshit from the so called musician. He liked music as much as the next man…in fact ELO were his favourite band…but he couldn’t understand why anyone would like anything by the likes of Ghoul Detail. Sign of the times really. Still he had to wrap things up as he was due to tee off at Wentworth in 45 minutes. ‘I’ll make you another appointment for next week then’ he said to Sound. ‘Nah…I don’t think so. You’ll not be hearing from me again’ Sound said as he left the room. Oh I doubt that very much. I’ll be hearing a lot more from you in the future. You mark my words thought the psychiatrist as he grabbed his golf shoes from the floor.

ANM

Download 'Regale Me...' for free here (Roil Noise website)